Dear Ms. Granger-Weasley

A few years ago, one of the creators of HP Alliance (a non-profit organization that works for underprivileged youth around the world in the name of Dumbledore’s caring spirit) compiled letters, photos, stories, and phrases from people whose lives were changed by Harry Potter and JK Rowling.  These letters and stories came from all over the world, all different ages, and each had unique experiences to share.  Each of these letters were written to a character in the book or to Rowling. Dear Mr. Potter is a book compiled for fans that grew up waiting for each book to come out in tingling anticipation.   Every photograph and letter stinks of nostalgia, pain, joy, and empathy.

I wish I had an opportunity to send in a letter, having been a potter-girl since I was 11.  Since I can’t do that, I’ll write my letter here instead.

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Dear Ms. Granger,

As I understand it now, you are now Mrs. Weasley, but I can’t call you that.  You will always be Hermione Jean Granger, the awkward girl with mousy brown hair and buck teeth that hid away in books because they were safe.  Surrounding yourself in logic and facts were safer than the unstable emotions, especially when you were in love with such an emotionally unpredictable boy like Ronald Billius Weasley. 

I’m glad that you finally ended up with Ron, and I’m not just saying that because I got tired of the sexual tension for 7 books (and 8 movies, and 14 years of my life).  I think ending up with Ron shows some true imperfection and weakness in both of your characters, rather than a perfect happy ending.  So many stories of love end up with 2 people marrying and living happily ever after, but even your “happily ever after” displays the same arguments and struggles prevalent throughout the entire story.   You and Ron show us the “real” side of it all.  We are all imperfect people and we all love imperfect people.

Especially you, Hermione, who tried so hard to be perfect in everything.  You were the brightest witch of our age.  You are not really that smart, you are just “highly logical which allows you to look at extraneous details which others overlook.” You saw your identity in school so much that getting expelled was a worse fate than getting murdered by a three-headed dog.   Since knowledge was the way you found who you were, you saw it necessary to take absolutely every class, and even travelled in time to be in two classes at once. 

When a teacher wasn’t teaching, you took it upon yourself to find a way for students to learn without a designated teacher.  The credit for Dumbledore’s Army goes to Harry, but we both know whose idea it really was. Of course I was inspired by your love for learning and empathized with your bookworm awkwardness in navigating social scenes, but more than that, you remind me that it’s so easy to hide behind all of that.

Losing yourself in a book, in the characters and story plots of alternate realities, in emotions and experiences so similar yet not quite the same as your own, is both a fantastic escape, as well as equipment for living in our own realities.

Hermione Granger, you are not real, but you are so real.

You were made fun of so you hid in books and learning spells to absolute perfection.  I was made fun of so I hid in books filled with stories of you. I continued to hide in books when the boy I was in love with thought I was just an annoying little nerd.  I continued to hide in books when the dementors took a liking to me, and sucked all the happiness out of the world.  I continued to hide in books when books were all that was left, until I, like you, realized the world was so much bigger than that. You dropped out of school Hermione. People tend to forget that, but you dropped out of Hogwarts with a year left to go fight Voldemort with your friends, because the world was bigger than your books (even though you took the entire library with you in your amazing beaded bag.)  And you know what? That was the year you really became who you were- you defined yourself outside of school.  You were brave. You were the most loyal friend of the three.  You cared so much about your family you erased your own existence from their memory to protect them.  You cried at night when Ron didn’t return. You chose places to apparate that had personal nostalgia, before Hogwarts.  You showed Kreacher empathy even when he called you a mudblood every day. That’s who you really are, Hermione.  Your books and cleverness do not define you.  You define you.

Hermione, I hope you remember this.  I tend to forget it.  I tend to define myself by books and cleverness.  Then I make choices that are made for me, rather than choices I make for myself.  I aspire to be the Hermione that dropped out of school and became a brave, independent, compassionate, force to be reckoned with.  We all love the meek little bookworm Hermione, the one that was a know-it-all in class that shot her hand up in the air to answer a question and corrected spell form in other peers, but she is so surface level. 

Finally, Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley, thank you.  Thank you for giving hope to an eleven-year-old girl so haunted by dementors.  Thank you for continuously bringing hope as that girl got older and those dementors never left her alone.  The only spell you struggled with was the patronus charm, which was my biggest struggle too.  When the dementors have sucked enough of your soul and happiness away, finding a “happy moment” to focus on for conjuring the spell is impossible, isn’t it? 

I hope your dementors have left you.   I’m still fighting some off.  Some days they make anything above basic functioning impossible.  Some days they make me feel entirely alone.  Most of the time, they just suck the happiness out of the world and leave me feeling empty and cold.  You, above all people, will know what I mean.

Give my best to Ron, and the other gingers. 

Always, Ani